Oops

I was doing so well with blogging every day! I don't know what happened but I think I'll start again!

Church

Church was awesome today. I also got to see a friend of mine who I haven't seen in a while so that was nice :) - I'm too tired to make any more comments on today.

I'm Old

Today is my birthday and I turned 20. That's the end of that :)

Today was also part two of Claire's Hen Party and it was so much fun!

My first job of the day was to collect balloons for the dinner table so I went to the local party shop and chose pink and silver balloons as well as an L plate balloon to tie to Claire's chair. Apparently I'm incapable of carrying eight balloons ten metres to my car and somehow managed to burst one on the way!

When I got home I got a quick visit from my sister and her family so they could give me my birthday card and a gift. It was really nice to see her because I haven't seen her since we met for the first time a few weeks ago (I'll explain that one another time!) The gifts they got me are just what I love! They got me a beautiful smelling candle with a little porcelain lampshade which sits on top of the candle to make it look like a little lamp! It's sooo cute! They also gave me a really beautiful bracelet which has two rows of black beads which are joined with a big black heart! It's really lovely :)

After they left I had a bath and got ready for going out for dinner. We got t-shirts made for everyone which said "Hen Party" with little stones. They looked great on everyone! I travelled to the cute Italian restaurant with my friend Ali and met my friend Emma outside. We went upstairs and decorated the table with the balloons and with table confetti. Emma also brought pictures of Claire when she was younger as well as a beautiful cake which we place in the centre of the table :) Claire loved it all and dinner was amazing.

After dinner we headed to the cinema to see "The Time Traveller's Wife" which was really confusing. My friends, Ali and Laura, and I sat discussing what was happening the whole way through cause we didn't really understand why the guy time travelled and why he was stuck in the year that he was and also why he could come back when he was dead or travel past the date of his own life. Who knows? It was a good movie if you don't think too much about the plot... ooh and I love Rachel McAdams. I think she's a great actress :)

Pamper Night

My friend Claire is getting married next week so tonight was part one of her hen party. We had a pamper night at her house with just a few friends and it was so much fun. I got my toenails done with french paint and they look lovely.

My friends, Ali and Emma, and I had been into the city centre today to buy items for Claire's party bag that we decided to make her... full of "essential" items that she would need for married life. Let's just say it was interesting to say the least.... I think it terrified Claire a bit though!

I'm tired now and tomorrow holds part two of her hen party so I'm going to sleep :)

Uni

I had to enrol for the second year of my university course today and I'm really excited about it.

Last year enrollment was really crazy because I was a first year student and everyone needed to verify who they were, their grades and all their other details. It took forever and included a three hour long wait in a small, stuffy corridor surrounded by hundreds of people who didn't know each other and were equally as annoyed and confused by the process as I was. Thankfully a couple of us found solidarity in that! I'm overjoyed that registration for this year was all done online and was much simpler!

I'm studying German with Theology at Queen's University in Belfast, which is also where I live. I major in German which means that I four classes each year in German and only two in Theology. I really love my course! I started off at uni studying German and Spanish but I dropped Spanish at Christmas because I was really bad at it and picked up Theology. I thought Theology would be simpler and easier to follow... which in some ways it is because it's in english at least but it's a bit hard to get your head around!

Because Queen's don't have their own Theology department they run the course through lots of different, smaller colleges. I chose to study at Belfast Bible College which is a Christian college. It's in a really nice setting and I really like it there but sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have class with people who didn't believe the same things as I did. Sometimes being in a bit of a Christian bubble is a bit annoying.. but anyway! They give us free tea and cake every morning so that's a bonus!

Last year for Theology I took a class which studied the gospel of Mark. That class was really interesting to sit in but very confusing when it came around to the big assignment and the exam because I didn't really know what was happening. It all worked out alright though!

The second class I took was Introduction to Theological Thinking which I found extremely interesting but most of the time I found it difficult to follow and diffcult to remember what all of the different theologians thought because I had no background knowledge in church history and nearly everyone else did. I was a bit disadvantaged but I did alright in the exam and the assignment so it all worked out okay too!

I didn't really try at all to get anything out of Theology last year because I found it difficult starting a new college and trying to meet new people as well as starting a subject that I'd never studied before so I'm going to put in way more effort this year to actually learning something useful. Grades for last year didn't count anyway!

Sooo... what does this year hold? I'm taking four classes in German, two of which are compulsory language modules which include a bit of history and business, reading, writing, grammar and oral stuff which is usual with language courses. I didn't really mention much about German from last year because I just loved it all from start to finish. I love everyone doing the course and the classes were really great.

So yeah... I'm taking the language modules and I'm also taking two other modules. I don't know much about them yet apart from their titles. The first one is entitled "Religion in Modern Day Drama and Theatre" which sounds like it will be really interesting so I'm excited about that one! The second is about German Cinema and I know nothing about that. I don't study that one until after Christmas though so we've plenty of time to figure out what it's about.

As for Theology I'm taking a class called "The Christian Doctrinal Tradtion" which is compulsory I'm not very excited about it. It sounds like it might be as confusing as the theological thinking module from last year but I'll go in hopeful! The second module I'm taking is a church history module for the 16th century period which I am looking forward to more than I can tell you! It's going to be all about the Reformation and that's my favourite church history period.... maybe it's something to do with my love for German ;)

So that's what I'll be doing this year and once this year is over it's time for me to go off to Germany for my year abroad! I'm looking forward to it SO much but at the same time I'm terrifed :) but hey... we've still a while to go until that!

Oooh and I'm also taking a course in Modern Greek on Thursday evenings.... just for fun!

Breakthrough

I love those moments when life just seems to burst open the jar that it's been contained in because something new and exciting has happened and that jar that you've put life in just can't contain itself anymore.

:)

A New Adventure

Today I start something new and I'm really excited about it.

At church I'm part of a Bible School course that they run through the year. I started the course in January and at the time I had to make some major decisions. The decisions weren't really life or death but they would dictate how the next period of my life would look. I'd been helping out on Thursday nights with a group of kids in church and I'd also been attending a church youth group on Tuesdays. The course was taught on both Tuesday and Thursday nights so I didn't know what direction to go... to stay with the kids and the youth or to start attending the Bible School course. I chose Bible School because it seemed to make sense. What could be wrong with learning more about God? In retrospect, I think it was the wrong decision.

While attending the course in the first semester I struggled with paying for petrol to even get there and God's hand didn't seem to be upon my attendance. Usually I soak knowledge up like a sponge... I really love learning but every time I sat in the classes I couldn't take it in. It was like my mind was somewhere else. Which it was.... it was with the group of youth.

Bible School took a break at Easter and right through summer and I went back to attending the youth group every week. I didn't really talk to anybody but I just went there to meet with God and just to see what He was doing and I just knew that I should be part of that. I decided to seek His face some more before I made a decision because I didn't want to make any more mistakes.

Nearly six months have passed since then and I'm now taking a step in the direction that I feel I'm supposed to go. I'm really excited about how God is going to use me there and I'm really excited about imparting what I've learnt to them and also learning more from everyone else there. I dunno.. I just feel like I'm on the edge of something and I don't know where it's gonna take me.

Needless to say, I'm not going back to Bible School at this moment in time and I guess I just wanted to put a reminder for myself to not just choose the path which seems to make sense at the time but to seek God's face in everything.

Stress

I really hope today is the end of something.

Mark 4:30-32

Just some writing I did on this passage for Theology. I recently found it and thought I'd post it here with my other random thoughts.

This passage is only one of several parables in chapter four of Mark’s gospel which talk about the kingdom of God. This parable of the mustard seed is a teaching which is designed to encourage the disciples and to carry them through the somewhat small beginnings of the work they are about to embark upon. In some ways this passage shields the disciples from doubting the future power of the kingdom but with a closer look there are many other allusions within the text which, at first glance, are not so prominent, especially to the western eye.

In writing an exegesis of this passage we must first establish the type of writing and the genre of the text with which we are dealing. This particular writing is a parable which is set within chapter four of the gospel of Mark. A parable is defined by Webster’s dictionary as being a short story which is “designed to illustrate or teach some truth, religious principle or moral lesson”. We therefore must begin to look past the surface of what Jesus was teaching in order to find the true principle or lesson contained within the message. We must however be careful not to “change parables into allegories, seeking all sorts of complicated meanings where usually one great truth is to be found.”

Let us look first at the wider context of this passage. Directly before the text in question comes “The Parable of the Growing Seed” (Mark 4:26-29) which is unique to the gospel of Mark. Within this parable we learn that man is “responsible for sowing the kingdom message” but God is responsible for the results. It is interesting that this text appears only in Mark’s gospel but there is a possible explanation as to why it has been omitted from the other gospels. If we look at Luke 13:19 we are told that the kingdom is, “like a mustard seed, which a man took and put in his garden” and similarly in Matthew we are told the kingdom is, “like a mustard seed, which a man took and sowed in his field,”. However when we look at Mark 4:32 we are simply told that “it is sown”.

It is possible that the lack of the human agent (anthropos) in Mark’s account is made up for by the parable of the growing seed as it talks of man sowing seeds but God being responsible for the results. The use of ‘anthropos’ in the accounts of both Matthew and Luke is ultimately overshadowed as we are told of how God will finally bring the kingdom to power.

The sections before this include similar parables about the kingdom of God such as “The Parable of the Sower” (Mark 4:1-9) and “Light under a Basket” (Mark 4:21-25). Each of these parables are important as they give us different pieces of information about the kingdom. It is therefore fitting that they should be arranged side by side.

After the text we have two short verses (33 and 34) in which we learn how Jesus adapted his teachings to his listeners. These are two significant verses and I find it appropriate that they have been separated from the parables beforehand as the verses are written in reference to all of the parables used by Jesus and not just the parable immediately before.

After this, as we move towards the end of chapter four, we are told of how the wind and waves obey Jesus and into the beginning of chapter five of Mark’s gospel we learn of the demon-possessed man whom through Jesus received healing. Both passages appear to affirm Jesus’ authority and are appropriately placed in order to support the claims He makes about God’s kingdom in the preceding verses.

The text begins with the typical Markan introduction, “Then He said”. This phrase is used can be seen introducing the other parables contained within Mark 4 as well as frequently throughout the gospel as a whole. This is one of the many literary styles which Mark uses to give his writing an extremely fast pace and a sense of immediacy.

In verse thirty Jesus poses two questions to the listeners; “To what shall we liken the kingdom of God?” and “With what parable shall we picture it?”. It is obvious that Jesus is not asking these questions in order to receive a response from his audience but rather to show that the description he will give is not that of a literal sense but rather metaphorical. From these questions posed we can safely assume that the kingdom of God is not a literal mustard seed nor does it have physical roots and branches.

Jesus does however liken the kingdom to a mustard seed and we are told that when the mustard plant is fully grown it “shoots out large branches” and that birds will be able to “nest under its shade”. From knowledge of the plant in the form that we know, it seems that Jesus has got it completely wrong. However, if we do some research, we learn that at the time when Jesus spoke and in that particular location that we “can be certain that it became a tree”.

It is not just the transformation of the small mustard seed to the fully grown tree being likened to the small beginnings of the kingdom that caused Jesus to choose this unusual symbolism. We see the kingdom of God being referred to as a tree on many occasions in the Old Testament such as Psalm 104:12, Ezekiel 17:23, Ezekiel 31:6 and Daniel 4:12.

This particular parable may also have roots in John 15 as Jesus talks of himself as the vine and believers as the branches who are called to bear fruit. But what does it mean for us to be the branches of his kingdom and when exactly will the kingdom of God be fully realised on earth?

There are many stances on when the kingdom will come and there has been no resolution made. Many such as Schweitzer believe that we are only preparing for the end . This stance is further enhanced by many theologians such as Blutmann who suggest that although the kingdom hasn’t yet come, it still “wholly determines the present” in that we should see “every hour as the last”.
Others however, such as Dodd, believe that the kingdom of God has indeed already come. Most have taken this viewpoint from detailed studies of the original text of Mark 1:15 and claim that the text suggests an immediate coming of the kingdom.

It may however be more popular to take a stand on the middle ground in which we see the kingdom of God as a kingdom that did indeed arrive with Jesus but will continue to be built up until it becomes something great. Just as the mustard seed, the early church was started with few disciples but the gospel has continued to

spread. We just need to look at how many people have been reached today with just a few men.
Just like the growth of the mustard seed into a larger entity, we can see by looking at Mark 9:1 that it would take time before the kingdom of God was present with power. As branches we are called to be the hands and feet of the gospel. The kingdom of God is here but, just like the mustard seed needs to be physically planted in the ground before it can grow, we need to help plant the gospel in the hearts of men before God can do the work.

Apologetics

One of the areas of Theology I'm really interested in and love is Apologetics. I got interested in this area very early on in my Christian walk, simply because I had questions and wanted answers! Now I love this subject because through it I can help people with the same questions as I had. Philippians 1:17 has to be one of my favourite scriptures because it talks of how we have actually been appointed for the defence of the gospel and I love how 1 Peter 3:14-16 talks of how we should always be ready to give a reason for the hope that is in us. So today I thought I'd talk a little bit about Apologetics and why it's important!

The word “Apologetics” is a compound of two Greek words;

Apologia: verbal defence

Aoyikos: reasonable

Apologetics: reasonable verbal defence

Apologetics deals with answering critics who oppose or question the revelation of the word of God, of worship or manifestation of the work or acts of the Holy Spirit. We as believers need to give reason for what we believe. It is also a study that gives reason for the Christian faith and deals with why we believe what we believe and why we do what we do. To defend, we have to be knowledgeable or we won’t be able to present our case effectively and, as Christians are called to make a defence, this is important.

We need apologetics because;

• We are commanded to be able to give a defence of the faith to everyone who asks us.
• It helps to strengthen the faith of believers. Most of us have times when we question and doubt what we believe and apologetics gives us a foundation and reinforcement to our faith.
• There are so many false teachings that call for our attention that we need apologetics to affirm our faith as well as to stop the objections and attacks of those who are attempting to assault the faith.

Excuses in the Face of Evidence

Ignorance – this is only a valid excuse until the point that the person is given information about God. After that, we are not dealing with ignorance but with wilful rejection. (Romans 1:18-19 - "For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because what may be known of God is manifest in them, for God has shown it to them.")

Pride – (1 Corinthians 1:26-27 - For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty;)

Moral Reasons – people often reject the evidence for Christ, not because of any lack in the evidence but because they have a vested interest in unbelief. They do not want the Christian faith to upset their lifestyle. Some have attempted to overcome this objection by watering down the need for repentance. It is taught, “just believe the facts of the gospel and you will be saved” but Jesus preached a gospel that saved sinners from their sins. Jesus loves you the way you are but loves you too much to leave you the way you are. (John 3:19-20 - And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed.)

Don’t be afraid to reason! Don’t just live with questions – want answers for them!

Support

I pray that we wouldn't just play up our support for a few days or weeks. I pray our support would be real support and would be born out of actual love and actual concern for the wellbeing of this project that we're embarking upon. Let our support not fail like last time and allow us to rectify our previous mistakes.

Philippians 3:7-11

But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ.

Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness , which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.

<3

Israel

is stalking me again. I really really want to go there.

Today

I don't feel settled about where I am and what I'm doing.

I so need to get down on my knees and seek God's face in this.

I can't afford to make a mistake because it could cost lives.

Help Lord.

Holy Spirit Gifts and Power - Paul Walker (3)

The Gifts of the Godhead
For many, clarification of the distinct role each member of the Godhead plays in giving gifts to mankind is helpful. Foundationally, of course, our existence - human life - is given by the Father (Gen. 2:7; Heb. 12:9), who also gave His only begotten Son as the Redeemer for mankind (John 3:16). Redemptively, Jesus is the giver of eternal life (John 5:38-40; 10:27, 28): He gave His life and shed His blood to gain that privilege (John 10:17, 18; Eph. 5:25-27). Further, the Father and Son have jointly sent the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:17, 33) to advance the work of redemption through the church's ministry of worship, growth, and evangelism.

In sequence, then, we find Romans 12:3-8 describing gifts given by God as Father. They seem to characterise basic "motivations," that is, inherent tendencies that characterise each different person by reason of the Creator's unique workmanship in their initial gifting. While only seven categories are listed, observation indicates that few people are fully described by only one. More commonly a mix is found, with different traits of each gift present to some degree, while usually one will be the dominant trait of that person. It would be a mistake to suppose that an individual's learning to respond to the Creator's gifting of them in one or more of these categories fulfills the Bible's call to "earnestly desire the best gifts" (1 Cor. 12:31). These gifts of our place in God's created order are foundational.

Second, in 1 Corinthians 12:7-11, the nine gifts of the Holy Spirit are listed. Their purpose is specific - to "profit" the bosy of the church. ("Profit,", Greek sumphero, means "to bring together, to benefit, to be advantageous," which is experienced as the body is strengthened in its life together and expanded through its ministry of evangelism.) These nine gifts are specifically available to every believer as the Holy Spirit distributes them (1 Cor. 12:11). They are not to be merely acknowledged in a passive way, but rather are to be actively welcomed and expected (1 Cor. 13:1, 14:1).

Third, the gifts which the Son of God has given are pivotal in assuring that the first two categories of gifts are applied in the body of the church. Ephesians 4:7-16 not only indicates the "office gifts" Christ has placed in the church along with their purpose. The ministry of these leaders is to "equip" the body by assisting each person: 1) to perceive the place the Creator has made him to fill, by His creative workmanship in him, and the possibilities that salvation now opens to his realisation of what he was made to be; and 2) to receive the power of the Holy Spirit, and begin to respond to His gifts, which are given to expand each believer's capabilities beyond the created order and toward the redemptive dimension of ministry, for edifying the church and evangelising the world.

In this light, we see these clearly designated categories of giftings: the Father's (Rom 12:6-8), the Son's (Eph. 4:11), and the Holy Spirit's (1 Cor. 12:8-10).

Holy Spirit Gifts and Power - Paul Walker (2)

How Can Spiritual Integrity Be Maintained?

Establishing Our Perspective

First, the Pentecostal or Charismatic sees the baptism or infilling of the Holy Spirit as an experience subsequent to Christian conversion: one that comes about through a process of yielding the complete person into the guidance and indwelling of the Holy Spirit. We agree that the Holy Spirit is operative in every believer and in the varied ministries of the church. Still evey believer must answer the question of Acts 19:2, "Have you received the Holy Spirit since you believed?"

Two expressions should be qualified here:

1. It should be understood that by "baptism in the Holy Spirit" the traditional Pentecostal/Charismatic does not refer to the baptism of the Holy Spirit accomplished at conversion, whereby the believer is placed into the body of Christ by faith in His redeeming work on the cross (1 Cor. 12:13). Thus, no biblically oriented Charismatic ever views a non-Charismatic as "less saved" or less spiritual than himself. The baptism in or with the Holy Spirit (John 1:33; Acts 1:5) was and is directed by the Lord Jesus to be "received" (John 20:22; Acts 1:8) as a "gift" given following His ascension (John 7:39; Acts 2:38, 39). However, should any prefer to dismiss this terminology, we contend that to experience the Holy Spirit's fullness in the spirit of unity is more important than to separate company or diminish our passion for His fullness over differences in theological wording or practice.




2. By "a process of yielding the complete person" the Pentecostal/Charismatic does not mean either (a) a passivity of mind or (b) a self-hypnotic or trancelike state. Rather, this terminology refers to an assertive prayerful, heartfelt quest for God. The mind is active, worshipping Jesus Christ, the Baptiser with the Holy Spirit (John 1:33). The emotions are warmed, as the love of God is poured forth into our hearts (Rom. 5:5). One's physical being participates, as worship is spoken and expressed, with upraised voice in prayer (Acts 4:24) or upraised hands of adoration (Ps. 63:1-5).

The Twofold Function of the Gift of Tongues
In regard to those who have "received", the Bible describes two basic functions of "tongues": it is for personal edification and for public exhortation.

In the experience of the baptism in or infilling of the Holy Spirit, "tongues" functions as a sign of the Holy Spirit's presence. Jesus prophesied it as a sign (Mark 16:17), Paul referred to it as a sign (1 Cor. 14:22), and Peter noted its uniformity as a sign-gift in confirming the validity of the Gentiles' experience in the Holy Spirit. (Compare Acts 10:44-46 with 11:16, 17; and 15:7-9). Thus, speaking with tongues is a properly expected sign, affirming the Holy Spirit's abiding presence and assuring the believer of an invigorated living witness. It is not viewed as a qualification for fullness of the Holy Spirit, but as one indication of that fullness.

Tongues for Personal Edification
First, "speaking in tongues" is a private affair for self-edification (1 Cor. 14:2-4). Thus, glossolalia is practiced devotionally by the believer in this most intimate and intercessory moments of communication with God as he is moved upon by the Holy Spirit. This "devotional" application may also be practiced by corporate agreement, in group gatherings where no unbelievers or uniformed people are present (1 Cor. 14:23). In line with this understanding, the following reasons are propounded for speaking with tongues:

1. Speaking with tongues as the Holy Spirit gives utterance is the unique spiritual gift identified with the church of Jesus Christ. All other gifts, miracles, and spiritual giftations were in evidence during Old Testament times, before the Day of Pentecost. This new phenomenon came into evidence and became uniquely identified with the church and was ordained by God for the church (1 Cor. 12:28, 14:21).
2. Speaking with tongues is a specific fulfillment of prophecies by Isaiah and Jesus. Compare Isaiah 28:11 with 1 Corinthians 14:21, and Mark 16:17 with Acts 2:4; 10:46; 19:6; and 1 Corinthians 14:5; 14-18, 39.
3. Speaking with tongues is a proof of the resurrection and glorification of Jesus Christ (John 16:7; Acts 2:26).
4. Speaking with tongues is an evidence of the baptism or infilling of the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:4; 10:45; 19:6).
5. Speaking with tongues is a spiritual gift for self-edification (1 Cor. 14:4; Jude 20).
6. Speaking with tongues is a spiritual gift for spiritual edification of the church when accompanied by interpretation (1 Cor. 14:5).
7. Speaking with tongues is a spiritual gift for communicatio with God in private worship (1 Cor. 14:15).
8. Speaking with tongues is a spiritual means for rejoicing (1 Cor. 14:15; Eph. 5:18, 19).
9. Paul's application of Isaiah's prophecy seems to indicate that speaking with tongues is also intended as a means of "rest" or "refreshing" (Is. 28:12; 1 Cor. 14:21).
10. Tongues follow as one confirmation of the Word of God when it is preached (Mark 16:17, 20; 1 Cor. 14:22).

Tongues for Public Exhortation
Turning to the second function of "tongues" - public exhortation - 1 Corinthians 14 bases the gifts of the Spirit on the one sure foundation of love (1 Cor. 14:1). Public "tongues" also calls for integrity in practice as the key for preservation of order in our fellowship and the worship services. Conceding that there have been those who have abused the gift as an occasion for fleshly pride, we must recognise that it can be a vital and valuable part of worship when placed in its proper setting for the edification of the body (1 Cor. 14:12, 13).

However, the sincere Spirit-filled believer will not be preoccupied with this gift alone, for he sees it as only one of many gifts given for the "wholeness" of the church; therefore, he does not worship or meet with others just to speak in tongues for the mere sake of the practice itself. Such motivation would be immature, vain, and idolatrous. Rather, sincere believers gather to worship God and to be thoroughly equipped for every good work through the teaching of His Word (2 Tim. 3:16, 17). Consequently, the scripturally sensitive believer recognises the following New Testament direction regarding spiritual gifts:

1. Speaking in "tongues" only edifies public worship when it is interpreted; thus, the worshiper is to pray for the interpretation and if it is withheld, he keeps silent, unless someone who functions in the gift of interpretation is known to be present (1 Cor. 14:5, 28).
2. The Spirit works only to edify; thus, whenever He is truly present all things are in order and devoid of embarrassment or uneasiness (1 Cor. 14:26, 40).
3. The "spirits of the prophets are subject to the prophets" (1 Cor. 14:32). That is, each truly Spirit-filled person can exercise self-control; thus, confusion can and should be avoided so that decency with unity may prevail (1 Cor. 14:40).
4. The basis of all gifts is love. Love, not the experience of a gift, is the qualifying factor for those who would exercise spiritual gifts. Thus, in the administration of spiritual authority in the local congregation, the Word demands that we "judge" (1 Cor. 14:29) to confirm that those who exercise gifts actually do "pursue love, and desire spiritual gifts" (1 Cor. 13:1-13; 14:1).
5. The Author and Dispenser of the gifts is the Holy Spirit, who divides them as He wills; thus, no gift becomes the exclusive possession of any believer for his personal edification and pride. Rather, the gifts are placed in the church to be exercised by the body for the mutal edification of the believers (1 Cor. 12:1-11) and as a means for expanded ministry.
6. The exercise of tongues is to be limited to sequences of two or three at the most (1 Cor. 14:27). While many hold this to be a rigid number, others understand it to be a guideline to keep the worship service in balance. In actuality, the Holy Spirit rarely moves beyond these limitations; however, on occassions, for special reaons to meet special needs, there may be more than one sequence of two or three appropriately spaced apart in a given service. The overarching guideline is "Let all things be done decently and in order" (1 Cor. 14:40).

The Contemporary Witness
Moving beyond one's fullness in the Holy Spirit, it is important to understand the impact of the Spirit's full operation of gifts in and through the life and witness of the church.

The Spirit-filled experience is moe than just "speaking in tongues." In reality it is coming into the fullness of the gifts and fruit of the Spirit as outlined in the New Testament (1 Cor. 12:7-11; Gal. 5:22, 23). It also encompasses the broader scope of exercising God's gifts of spiritual enablement described in Romans 12:3-8 and Ephesians 4:7-12.

The Greek word charisma (singular) or charismata (plural) is used to designate spiritual gifts and, in the most technical sense, means "gifts of holy grace". In Ephesians 4:11-13 the words dorea and doma are also used to designate "gifts", referring to these gifts as "enablers" or "equippers" for personal service in the kingdom of God. Also, the word pneumatika employed in 1 Corinthians 12:1 is used to describe the gifts as "things belonging to the Spirit." The point is that each of these words gives a contemporary meaning to the supernatural work of the Spirit in our lives as He prepares us for kingdom service and growth in grace. For this to happen we are called upon to "earnestly desire the best gifts" (1 Cor. 12:31). Thus removing the cloak of passivity and ardently seeking to understand the operation of an appropriate response to all spiritual gifts is bibically proper.

In speaking of the gifts, however, exclusivism is never implied. The gifts are placed in the church as resources to be utilised at the point of need for ministry in the body. This means that not every believer will have the same gifts as every other believer. Rather, the Holy Spirit is the Author and Dispenser of the gifts to bring about integrity in worship and kingdom expression.

Holy Spirit Gifts and Power - Paul Walker (1)

Without a doubt, the Pentecostal revival of the early 1900s and the Charismatic renewal, which had its beginning in the late 1950s, together constitute one of the most innovative and impactive spiritual renovations in history. But when we investigate this phenomenon we must ask: 1) Why has this happened? 2) What is this doing? and 3) How can spiritual integrity be maintained?

Why has this happened?

The first reason has been an evident need for renewal of mission and purpose throughout the church and among its individual members.

Second, in view of this need for renewal, there has been a definite movement on the part of sincere believers to recover the dynamic power of the Holy Spirit, which transformed and empowered the early Christians. Emerging from this movement has been an inbreaking of the Holy Spirit, accompanied by speaking in tongues, among believers in every major denomination, demonstrating that the baptism in the Holy Spirit is not a denomination or a movement but an experience that brings enduement of spiritual power for intensified service.

Third, this inbreaking of the Holy Spirit has linked both the mainline Protestant and the traditional Pentecostal movement to worship practices of the first century through what has appropriately been referred to as the Charasmatic movement (derived from charismata, the Greek word used, for example, in 1 Cor. 12:4, 30 for the gifts of the Holy Spirit).

What is this doing?

Renewal then raises the question, What really happens when the gifts go to the church? In attempting to answer, attention must be given to the scriptural foundation, the traditional context, and the contemporary witness.

The Scripture Is Being Fulfilled

First, the Bible unequivocally declares, "Be filled with the Spirit" (Eph. 5:18). An analysis of the Greek verb translated "be filled" shows that it is in the present tense, indicating that this blessing is one that we may experience and enjoy now. The fact that the verb is a command (imperative mood) does not responsive disciple an option in the matter. However, since the verb is in the passive voice, it is clear that being filled with the Spirit is not something the Christian achieves through his own efforts, but is something that is done for him and to which he submits. Hence, the Scriptures depict a theocentric view of the Holy Spirit's filling, in which the Higher reaches down to gather up the lower into ultimate communion. Clarity on this point dismisses the criticism or misunderstanding of some who seem to see this experience as something merely conjured up by human suggestion, proposition or excitement.

The Person of the Holy Spirit Is at Work

Second, the Bible reveals that the Person of the Holy Spirit has been the primary agent in all of the ministry of the Word throughout the centuries. The Scripture states clearly that the triune Godhead operates coequally, coeternally, coexistantly, as one unit. But it also has been suggested, and with validity, that we might view this unity of activity with an eye toward the special function of each member of the Trinity the executive is the Father, the architecht is the Son, and the contractor is the Holy Spirit.

Thus, the Scriptures show the Holy Spirit uniquely and distinctly at work in these roles: He is the Author of the Old Testament (2 Sam. 23:2; Is. 59:21; Jer. 1:9; 2 Tim. 3:15-17; 2 Pet. 1:21) and the New Testament (John 14:25, 26; 1 Cor. 2:13; 1 Thess. 4:15; Rev. 1:10, 11; 2:7). He is the Old Testament Anointer. The Sciptures name no less than sixteen Old Testament leaders in Israel who received this anointing; Joseph (Gen. 41:38); Moses (Num. 11:17); Joshua (Num. 27:18); Othniel (Judg. 3:10); Gideon (Judg. 6:34); Jephthah (Judg. 11:29); Samson (Judg. 14:6, 19; 15:14, 15); Saul (1 Sam. 10:10, 11:6); David (1 Sam. 16:13); Elijah (1 Kin. 8:12; 2 Kin. 2:16); Elisha (2 Kin. 2:15); Azariah (2 Chr. 15:1); Zechariah (2 Chr. 24:20); Ezekiel (Ekek. 2:2); Daniel (Dan. 4:9; 5:11; 6:3); Micah (Mic. 3:8).

Thus, the Holy Spirit, as contractor, anointed the Old Testament prophets Isaiah and Joel to write - to prophesy of the day when He would be outpoured and when His gifts would be exercised in the church, throughout the whole church age (Joel 2:28-32; Acts 2:17-21). In Isaiah 28:11, 12 God used Isaiah to tell Judah that He would teach them in a manner they did not like and that He would give them knowledge through the language of foreigners as a sign of their unbelief. Centuries later the apostle Paul expands the intent of this passage, referring it to the gift of speaking in tongues in the church as a manifestation or sign to unbelievers (1 Cor. 14:21, 22). This sign could be in languages either known or unknown to human beings (compare 1 Cor. 14 with Acts 2:1-11; 10:45, 46).

In all these respects, we see the Holy Spirit as one who operates in the church as a definate personality - a Person given as a gift to the church to assure that the continued ministry of the resurrected Christ is expressed and verified. The Holy Spirit, then, has all the characteristics of a person:

1. He posesses the attributes of a mind (Rom 8:27), will (1 Cor. 12:11), and feeling (Eph. 4:30).
2. He engages in such activities as revealing (2 Pet. 1:21), teaching (John 14:26), witnessing (Heb. 10:15), interceding (Rom. 8:26), speaking (Rev. 2:7), commanding (Acts 16:6,7), and testifying (John 15:26).
3. He has a relationship with human persons: He can be grieved (Eph. 4:30), lied to (Acts 5:3), and blasphemed (Matt. 12:31, 32).
4. The Holy Spirit posesses the divine attributes of the Godhead: He is eternal (Heb. 9:14), omnipresent (Ps. 139:7-10), omnipotent (Luke 1:35), and omniscient (1 Cor. 2:10, 11).
5. He is referred to by such names as the Spirit of God, the Spirit of Christ, the Comforter, the Holy Spirit, the Holy Spirit of promise, the Spirit of truth, the Spirit of grace, the Spirit of life, the Spirit of adoption and the Spirit of holiness.
6. He is illustrated with such symbols as fire (Acts 2:1,2), wind (Acts 2:1,2), water (John 7:37-39), a seal (Eph. 1:13), oil (Acts 10:38), and a dove (John 1:32).

All this unfolds something of the vast realm or sphere of the operation of the Holy Sprit in the Old and New Testament and in the contemporary church.

Accounts in Acts Are Being Rediscovered and Applied

Third, the Book of Acts provides five accounts of people receiving the fullness or infilling or baptism in the Holy Spirit (Acts 2:4; 8:14-25; 9:17-20; 10:44-48; 19:1-7). In these accounts five factors are manifest: 1) There was an overwhelming inbreaking of God's presence experienced by all who were present. 2) There was an evident transformation in the lives and witness of the disciples who were filled. 3) That which was experienced became the impetus for the growth of the church, as "daily in the temple, and in every house, they did not cease teaching and preaching Jesus as the Christ" (Acts 5:42). 4) The immediate evidence in three of the give accounts was glossolalia: "For they heard them speak with tongues and magnify God" (Acts 10:46). [Glossolalia is a coined term derived from the Greek glossa ("tongue") and laleo ("to speak").] 5) The ultimate purpose of this experience was empowered witnessing (Acts 1:8) and a deeper dimension of Christian committment for the achievement of happiness (Eph. 5:19), gratitude (Eph. 5:20), humility (Eph. 5:21), and fruitfulness (Gal. 5:22, 23).

Together, the above facts demonstrate what the present Pentecostal/Charismatic renewal is experiencing through the Holy Spirit at work in the church. The problem is that too frequently the elements of this renewal are misunderstood or misapplied for a lack of biblical understanding of "tongues" and the function of the gifts of the Spirit. Although there are varying theological and ethical viewpoints among some in the Neo-Pentecostal/Charismatic movement, a common bond of unity in the Spirit-filled renewal is the practice of "speaking in tongues" in prayer and worship, together with an acceptance and welcoming of the operation of the Holy Spirit's gifts in their midst. Thus, to fully understand this phenomenon, it is necessary to see the Pentecostal/Charismatic view as they have learned to implement the Book of Acts' manifestation of the Holy Spirit's power-workings, applying the controls taught in 1 Corinthians 12-14.

Blah

I'm quite aware that my blog is probably completely incoherent to anyone but me :)

1 Corinthians 2:9

"No one has ever imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him."

I read this verse today, not for the first time, and it still blew me away. Max Lucado writes; "What a breathtaking verse! Do you see what it says? Heaven is beyond our imagination... At our very most creative moment, at our deepest thought, at our highest level, we still cannot fathom eternity." It's so true. We haven't even got the slightest idea.

I think sometimes it's easy to put Christianity in a box and to look at it as simply being 'a way of life' and to think of Heaven and eternity as being a promise in the distance without actually realising what it means.

In Ecclesiastes chapter three we're shown that God has ordained a time for everything from birth to death but I think it's important to realise that included in this will be a time ordained for each of us to meet with Him face to face. To meet our Maker and to see His true beauty and holiness.

I think that because we get so caught up with living in the present, we strangely forget that one day we're going to be standing infront of God.

John 11:40

"Did I not say to you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?"

Silbermond

In Zeiten wie diesen

Ist es Zeit neu anzufangen

Denn aus Zeiten wie diesen

Gibt es keinen Notausgang

Wir haben längst schon bewiesen

Dass wir die Kraft haben

Mauern zu Fall zu bring'

Lasst es uns beschließen

Oswald Chambers

"Prayer is designed more to adjust you to God, than to adjust God to you and your desires."

Questions

Where have we been heading over the past while?
What is the destination we have our sights on?
Have we just been travelling down our own roads again?
Have we been just neglecting the work of God?
Neglecting prayer.
Neglecting reading.
Neglecting intimacy.

We need to stop being rebellious.
We need to get back on track.
We need to live instead of just existing.
We need an urgency in our spirits.
We need proper intimacy and relationship.
We need to want God more than anything else.
We need to hunger for Him and nothing more.

Why do we not hunger?
Why are we immobilised?
Why do we not understand that He is God?
Why do we only know it in our heads and not in our hearts?

We need to know it practically.
We need to know it spiritually.
We need to know it emotionally.

Our whole being sold out for Him.
No compromises.
No doubts.
No fears.

The Vision - Pete Greig

So this guy comes up to me and says:
“What’s the vision? What’s the big idea?”
I open my mouth and words come out like this:
The vision?
The vision is JESUS – obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.

The vision is an army of young people.
You see bones?
I see an army.
And they are FREE from materialism.
They laugh at 9-5 little prisons.
They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday.
They wouldn’t even notice.
They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the west was won.
They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations.
They need no passport.
People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence.
They are free yet they are slaves of the hurting and dirty and dying.

What is the vision ?
The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes.
It makes children laugh and adults angry.
It gave up the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars.
It scorns the good and strains for the best.
It is dangerously pure.

Light flickers from every secret motive, every private conversation.
It loves people away from their suicide leaps, their Satan games.
This is an army that will lay down its life for the cause.
A million times a day its soldiers choose to loose,that they might one day win the great ‘Well done’ of faithful sons and daughters.
Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night.
They don’t need fame from names.
Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: “COME ON!”

And this is the sound of the underground.
The whisper of history in the making.
Foundations shaking.
Revolutionaries dreaming once again.
Mystery is scheming in whispers.
Conspiracy is breathing…
This is the sound of the underground.

And the army is discipl(in)ed.
Young people who beat their bodies into submission.
Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms.
The tattoo on their back boasts “for me to live is Christ and to die is gain”.
Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes.
Winners.
Martyrs.
Who can stop them ?
Can hormones hold them back?
Can failure succeed?
Can fear scare them or death kill them ?
And the generation prays like a dying manwith groans beyond talking,with warrior cries, sulphuric tears andwith great barrow loads of laughter!
Waiting.
Watching: 24 – 7 – 365.

Whatever it takes they will give:
Breaking the rules.
Shaking mediocrity from its cosy little hide.
Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs, laughing at labels, fasting essentials.
The advertisers cannot mould them.
Hollywood cannot hold them.
Peer-pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late night parties before the cockerel cries.
They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive inside.

On the outside? They hardly care.
They wear clothes like costumes to communicate and celebrate but never to hide.
Would they surrender their image or their popularity?
They would lay down their very lives – swap seats with the man on death row – guilty as hell.
A throne for an electric chair.
With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days,they pray as if it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on them.

Their DNA chooses JESUS.
(He breathes out, they breathe in.)
Their subconscious sings.
They had a blood transfusion with Jesus.
Their words make demons scream in shopping centres.
Don’t you hear them coming?
Herald the weirdo’s!
Summon the losers and the freaks.
Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes.
They walk tall and trees applaud, skyscrapers bow, mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension.
Their prayers summon the hounds of heaven and invoke the ancient dream of Eden.

And this vision will be.
It will come to pass;
it will come easily;
it will come soon.
How do I know?
Because this is the longing of creation itself,the groaning of the Spirit,the very dream of God.
My tomorrow is His today.
My distant hope is his 3D.
And my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great ‘Amen!’ from countless angels, from hero’s of the faith, from Christ himself.

And he is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner.

Guaranteed.

Philippians 3:12-14

Not that I have now attained [this ideal], or have already been made perfect, but I press on to lay hold of (grasp), and make my own, that for which Christ Jesus (the Messiah) has laid hold of me and made me His own. I do not consider, brethren, that I have captured and made it my own [yet]; but one thing I do [it is my one aspiration]: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the [supreme and heavenly] prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward.

Our Hearts Are Filled With Your Fire

I've been listening to the Hillsong album "This is Our God" lately and to be honest I've overplayed most of the tracks but the song "Where We Belong" has grabbed my attention. It had always been one of those tracks that I just skipped over but for the past two weeks I've had it on repeat and I've been really meditating on the lyrics because they're really awesome.

The chorus ends with the line "our hearts are filled Your fire" and this is something that I just want to ponder. I'm feeling really disheartened and really disappoined lately at the state of the church and at the state of "christians". We're so good at making sermons sound inviting and making music that's nice to sing along to and to listen to in our cars but what are we actually doing that's impacting the world. If you've read any of my other posts, you'll know I posted a few quotes from the start of Pete Grieg's book "Awakening Cry" in which he talks about how the church has retreated into its own little world and is now basically seen as being insignificant by the rest of the population. It's so true.

In churches all over the world we're teaching about spiritual revival and renewal and we're writing songs about God pouring His glory once again upon our land and bringing people to Him. I'm really doubting the motivations for this move. Is it for our church attendance to increase? Because surely if out heart's cry really was for revival and for an outpouring of God's spirit then we'd be doing so much more. We wouldn't be sitting in church hearing about how God is going to pour out His Spirit once more. We wouldn't be waiting for it to happen. What people don't get is that revival isn't something we're waiting for. It's something we need to DO. We need to break ourselves down to rock bottom so that we're relying on God and on God alone. To a point where we don't need anything but HIM. When we get there we need to spend time building upon our intimacy with Him so that we can not only hear His heartbeat but that it can be installed within out own being. That we can actually lay down our lives and our desires for His plan and to do His work.

It's something that we talk about all the time. Following Jesus. Laying down our life. Picking up our cross and following Him. I see very few people actually doing it (and this post isn't getting at anyone, it's a challenge to myself more than anything else). Laying down our lives is something that we're called to do and if we're not doing it we're not living the life that God has called us to. Christianity was never supposed to be easy. The message is simple but the calling is huge. To bring the good news of salvation to the ends of the earth. But when was the last time we talked to one of our unsaved family members about the love of Christ? When was the last time we even did something nice for somebody else?

We're not going to see even the slightest move of revival until we get ourselves on the right track. As Pete Grieg also says, revival isn't about an elevation but it's about a restoration of relationship between us and God. When we read about the early church in Acts we don't see something that's mediocre... I see something that's so on the edge and so dynamic and world-changing. Look how far those few men brought the Gospel in their lifetime. When I look at that my heart just cries, "WHAT ARE WE DOING?". We're singing these songs about how we'll go where God sends us, about how we're sold out for His plans and His purpose, about how our hearts are filled with His fire... but if all that was really true would we not be doing so much more? Do we really believe that God has called us to bring the Gospel to people across the earth? If we do then why are we so passive and letting people in our lives come and go daily without telling them?

I just don't understand why we're immobilised and all I can do is pray that God would waken people out of their sleep and that He would install mobility once again. It's time to stop sitting and waiting for something to happen. It's time to get out and BE the revival that we want to see. We need to get down on our knees and weep for the lost. We need to be doing all we can to bring the God's Kingdom to earth. It's only when we're doing all that we can through God's power that we'll see change. People are God's instruments and when we're waiting for Him to move.... we have to let Him move through us.

Spirituality

I don't understand why people feel the need to prove their spirituality to other people.

.. by talking about how much they pray or fast.

.. by trying to fit in a Bible reference to every sentence they make.

.. by trying to show openly in worship that God is doing something within them.

Why can't people just sit back and let God work in them without having to show it to other people?

I don't mean sharing what God is doing.... because that's good and I believe that's important.

I know what I mean.

Anguish

I think I know why I am where I am.

Prayer

I worry about out state.

I really do.

I worry that we've become selfish instead of selfless.

We're focused on ourselves rather than others.

Your blessings and your promises have become benefits instead of aid to the broken and the hurting.

We look at others and think we're better off when we can't even see the plank in our own eye.

I'm scared that this also rings true corporately in the church as a body.

We're so far from "having it sorted".

It's become about our healing, our lives and our brokenness instead of it being about You and bringing You to others.

When we do that... everything else will follow.

Seek first Your Kingdom.

Help us Lord.

Psalm 62:6

"He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken."

I read scriptures like this one all the time. I find it so easy to say that God is my rock and that I trust, and fully depend on Him for everything but saying those things doesn't really count when you're not actually putting it into action. In all honesty, I'm so far away from leaning on God and I'm shaken from my position in God by the smallest things. It shouldn't be like this.

God sees my heart and deep down I do have this burning fire to be totally sold out for Him and to be standing firm upon Him as my rock but I just can't seem to translate this burning desire into some sort of action. I then begin to doubt my faith and belief because I can't even do something as simple as trust. It's a bit of a spiral and I can't work my way out of it.

I don't know how to get to where I want to be.

Pete Grieg - Awakening Cry

"Such people find themselves sobered by their own spiritual impotence, saddened by the state of the church and sickened by the sin of the world. They love God's people and grieve that it is increasingly easier to be "christian" than a follower of Christ. They feel the pain when church leaders fall. They grieve as theologians apologise for miracles and preachers peddle cheap grace, modelling mediocracy and daring to build theologies for it.

And all the while friends and neighbours remain untouched by the gospel, unimpressed by the Saviour, with hearts like stone. Newspapers are full of oppression and injustice with scandal at home and starvation abroad. Television bleeds the pain of the world into our living rooms while we sip tea. But these true revivalists dream that God would breathe upon this generation one last time. This is their prayer, their heart-cry, their obession. This is an honest heart for revival and I write this book for all of those with this blood in their veins, to play a very small part in preparing the way of the Lord."

"Scripture challenges us to transform society from within but tragically we have often done just the opposite, retreating into a religious ghetto. At such a distance we fail to season and illuminate society and are seen as irrelevant by the rest of the population."

"We should regard revival as the restoration of normal Christian experience rather than the occasional elevation of it."

Daniel 6:26-27

For He is the living God,
And steadfast forever;
His kingdom is the one which shall not be destroyed,
And His dominion shall endure to the end.
He delievers and rescues,
And He works signs and wonders
In Heaven and on Earth,
Who has delievered Daniel from the power of the lions.

Church

"Sometimes people who leave a church try to control what other people say after they are gone. Forget about it. You can't control what anyone says. Some people may be deeply hurt by your leaving. It may mean the end of some friendships. Certainly things will change. You can't say, "I want to leave this church but I want all my relationships to stay the same." I think you have to be willing to let that happen, and not try to control things. Leaving means letting go..."

Knowing God

John 17:3 - "And this is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent."

Isaiah 43:10 - "... that You may know and believe in Me and understand that I am He..."

Exodus 33:13 - "... show me now Your way, that I may know You and that I may find grace in Your sight."

"To know" in Hebrew means to;

perceive, understand, believe, conform, learn, recognise, accept claims, be willing, obey, perform, live, see and experience.

"To know" in Greek means to;

believe, accept Jesus, know truth, respond in faith and know Jesus is to know God.

We can know God intimately.

"I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things." - Philippians 3:7-10

Abide In Him

"You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine and you are the branches. He who abides in me, and I in Him bears much fruit, for without me you can do nothing. If you abide in me and my words abide in you, you will ask what you desire and it shall be done for you. By this my father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be my disciples." John 15:1-8

Blue Like Jazz

Just some of my favourite quotes.

"Soon I will see the lines on His face." (p1)

"It is hard for us to admit we have a sin nature because we live in this system of checks and balances. It we get caught, we will be punished. But that doesn't make us good people; it only makes us subdued." (p18)

"The thing I loved about Nadine was that I never felt like she was selling anything. She would talk about God as if she knew Him, as if she had talked to Him on the phone that day. She was never ashamed." (p46)

"Believing in God is as much like falling in love as it is like making a decision." (p104)

"What I believe is not what I say I believe; what I believe is what I do." (p110)

"Dying for someone is easy because it is associated with glory. Living for something is the hard thing." (p111)

"Many of our own attempts to understand the Christian faith have only cheapened it." (p202)

"I think we have two choices in the face of such big beauty; terror or awe. And this is precisely why we attempt to chart God, beacuse we want to be able to predict Him, to dissect Him, to carry Him around in our dog and pony show. We are too proud to feel awe and too fearful to feel terror. We reduce Him to math so we don't have to fear Him, and yet the Bible tells us fear is the appropriate response that is the beginning of wisdom." (p204)

"The key to everything rests in the ability to receive love." (p226)

Refuge

Our God is the shelter in the storm.

Our God is the one who won't let go.

Our God, He remains the same.

Yesterday. Today. Forever.

He will never change.

Deuteronomy 30

Oh Lord I'll walk in Your ways
I'll return to You, my Deliverer
And as I do You rejoice over me
You gather me into Your hands

You've set before me curse and blessing
You've set before me death and life
But I know You're my life and the length of my days
So today I choose
So today I choose life

I turn to You with all my heart and soul
I'll cling to You forever
For You have had compassion on me
I'll carry Your word in my heart

I'm clinging
Clinging to You

Hello

I'm crap at blogging. I've been trying to do this properly for a few years now and every time I start, I intend to use it as a release of my emotions and opinions on life, death and everything inbetween... but just as I'm about to get started, I avoid writing. I delete the few posts I actually make and keep trying to start all over again. I get bored with (and sometimes get too critical of) what I'm writing but by doing this I render this entire project pointless! I want to be able to look back at this time in my life and have memories recorded.

So here's the last and final introduction to my blog and I'm just gonna see what happens from here :)